March 24, 2005
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Question of the Day:
Should you date your friends?
When anyone has a friend of the opposite sex I think it’s a natural tendency to at some point in the friendship to at least entertain the idea of something romantic happening. When these foreign thoughts begin to invade your mind you really only have two choices:
Option 1: Run & Hide
Just keep your feelings bottled up inside. The reasoning behind this method is most people would rather not put the friendship in jeopardy. What if things don’t work out the friendship would then be FUBAR.
Option 2: Head first….into a Wall
The people who choose this option are willing to take a huge chance……they can’t help how they feel and will one day just say fuck it and tell you.
Either situation is a risky one and I’m sure for most it has come up at least once in your lifetime…..as it has for me…
Background:
I met Kim about 4 years ago through a collegiate community service organization called Circle K.
I have to admit when I first met Kim I thought she was very hyper and weird.
For the 3 years that followed, Kim & I randomly would see each other but were merely acquaintances…
Over the last year, though, I become closer with a great group of guys (Larry, Jon, Eric, & Ferdiand) and I began to see more & more of Kim because she was friends with them.
Around the Halloween-Thanksgiving season last year I began to start seeing Kim in a different light. I started seeing her as more beautiful and attractive the more I really got to know her.
I was surprised at how well we clicked. We had so many common interests. We both liked to go clubbing, strange sense of humor, drink, try new things, read the same books, xanga’d, anime, art, photography, computers, video games, music etc…etc…
So for the past several months we’ve been “dating”. I was never sure where exactly we stood or what label we were to have. But I did know I was enjoying spending my free time with her more than any other person I know.
I guess a part of the reason why I haven’t asked her to be my girlfriend yet was a mixture of knowing once we became “official” we could never go back to being friends and also the fact that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to give up the single life (like most guys my age).
The Answer?:
Honestly, there is no universal answer to the question above or a correct why to handle the situation if it arises. But for Kim & I the answer is a mighty yes and it’s an answer I’ll never regret.
[ADD:] For those of you with short attention spans and who can’t handle reading all that I just wrote (damn, that was a long written entry) here are some picture of Kim & I from the last several months.
Comments (110)
awww… how sweet
it wasn’t that long once you start reading it. =) cute. i’ve stayed friend’s with ex’s before, it’s not impossible. hehe. love that last pic.
The best thing about hanging out with you is that it feels like we have fun regardless of where we go or what the situation is. It’s amazing to meet someone who not only accepts craziness but is crazy with me. =] These last few months have been filled with so much laughter and so many smiles that it’s hard to even begin..
“You know what’s really weird? A cork in your butt!”
how cute….let things be the way they are~
:throb:
too cute! i’ve chose option 1 before . . . actually MANY TIMES before hahaha
i always love romantic stories of risk that panned out. you guys look like you more than panned out. :wub:
it’s obvious to the world that you two are perfect for each other …. and yeah.. it is a scary thought that once u start that next level.. u wont be able to go back.. but u know what???? that only happens in highschool… as time passes… u both have matured and grown into adults… i’m 100% sure that both of you can overcome anything together. ur both down to earth, both compasionate and both very understanding about life… so really.. there shouldn’t be any fear.
u both right now are playing a tennis match of expressing your feelings towards each other on xanga… the whole world is watching this match… we’re all just waiting when u both put down teh raquets and just meet at the net.
your writings show it.. your pictures show it…….. there’s something great between you too… dont let fear stop u from growing!
GO LAN GO!!! GO KIM GO!! go … kiam … or… laim !! lol good luck to you both… and like i said on her xanga…. we’re all waiting for you to recap teh event that is your wedding!! haha!
<3
i am the deformed (white) offspring of kimlan soy sauce! they cook me vietnamese food and come to help me in times of need….
yayyyyyy
Wow, where have you been? Just wanted to drop by and say been missing ya..hehe…
Great entries….so cute.
-Linda =D
if it works for the two of you, there is no need to push an official title. some people can’t live without it but you guys seems just fine
. you seem quite well-suited for one another. i hope it continues :throb:
awwww how shweet!!! i think the best relationships stem from great friendships
:dribble:
aww. how romantic.. the best gf/bf to have is a best friend. those kind of relationships always last a long time…
Awww… Let’s double date!
I thought that was a short entry…
After I read it… I was like “Tha’s it..”
I wanted MORE!!! **sighs**
I’m glad you took the chance…
‘Coz I did too with mah current boyfriend… :wub:
Like you, I’ll never regret it…
I say you guys are a perfect couple!
And, I’m very happy for you both… :smile:
Awwww…..that is sweet. So you’ve been MIA for a while to tell us this?? Hehe.
I wish you two the best!! :wub:
Let the friendship stays the way it is. U two may feel comfortable together as friends but, once become lovers there are many other things invlove and u may not able to stand each other because somethings are important to u but not to her, and vice versa.
omg! that’s awesome!! you guys are gonna have such cute xanga babies! hahahhaha. you look great together and plus you seem to have such compatible awesome personalities! =)
seriously, too much cuteness out of you two
isn’t that how ALL relationships start? As friends? funny pix!
Awww how adorable.
Well the take on it that David and I have on it is that once one person has feelings for the other the friendship is already going to be ruined, because things have changed if feelings are already reciprocated there has been a change and if feelings are reciprocated then things will change in a different light. It is inevitable that girl/guy will start feeling romantic things for the other girl/guy any friendship is like that. But I think it’s better to take a chance than to have squandered a chance at happiness.
Happy for you both! Glad you are back.
Awwwe! that IS so sweet.. and i have to confirm, u both make such a CUTE couple too! Props to ya!
hehe but if you don’t take chances then how will you ever end up with someone?
i tend to think that one could tell through flirting, but that definition varies for people so haha too bad for the ones who can’t tell? i hate it when rejected people take it up the butt…cause then yeah friendship’s lost.
You guys are insanely cute!
-dies from the cuteness-
Aw! <3
awww, now i have to tell mah bestfriend i like her hahahha damnit!
u guys are soooooooooo cute :w00t:
If wish you guys the best of luck. Sometimes you never know what is behind the door if you are too afraid to open it.
i could never date someone i consider a friend
Hmm…jus friends? I wish things can be as simple as that. =)
i’m glad the friendship to relationship has worked for you. they say that the best relationship spring forth from friendship (yes contradictory to what i wrote but eh, what isn’t). sometimes u always wonder about the what ifs and in this instance you don’t. congrats.
aww, i esp like the pic with the tie. She looks really cute there.
GL with her! But as for if you should pursue..whatever happens happens. Dont obstruct nature and chemistry. But as for me, I wouldnt ever date a friend. I have to have the attention “from that way” from the get go–I’m just demanding and spoiled like that.
Everything I know about this subject I learned on Seinfeld………………..
just let it flow it’ll work in it’s own time….. YOU GUYS ARE CUTE THOUGH!!!!!
when i saw the “tattoos” i was like.. hrmm.. her hands are kinda hairy
lols… congrats!
Very cool. Congrats on the relationship! Oddly enough, I was reading both hers and yours and wondered if something was going on there.
ah the answer to so many questions…good luck lan! *hugs*
aww very cute man. welcome back dude. =D
u guys are obviously meant for each other… please stop with the tongue action, it’s starting to gross me out how wide your mouth opens
by the pixs i can tell you guys are meant for each other..ya are too 2222 kyotte=)
you guys are so CUTE!!!
oh she is a cutie! It looks like she has a fun personality like yourself. I hope all goes well.
yeah, there is that weird question of what happens after you stop dating a friend. From my experience, it’s awkward silence for a while, and then slowly moving up to chatting. I dated one of my friends of 3 years and we lasted for about 2 months. After that we didn’t talk for a while, we kind of avoided each other because we really thought things would work based on our friendship, but we started talking to each other again. Now we’re on neutral terms, but it isn’t near to what it used to be.
omg so cute
that is such a sweet entry :wub:
no eprops for you!
:shifty:
i say it’s better if you’re friends first. that means you know the person and know a lot of their good & bad… it’s the way to go.
a lot of people are surprised cuz their new loves all of a sudden turn into psychos.
i guess there’s pros & cons to everything. you just gotta be smart about it
FUBAR. haha…i haven’t heard that in a while.
friends dont let friends date friends…of a friend. from one friend to another. WTF?!??!
you guys make a great couple. thats a great way to start a relationship
wow! i’m happy for you!
When you posted about her birthday last time I didnt realize that you two were dating and actually knew each other. I thought that you only knew her from xanga.. haha, how cute. She is hottshit, and you two look like you enjoy each others company very much.. nice. and what a coincidence I just wrote about Bryan.. I am going to look at her xanga now, but have a great day.. the both of you.
awwwww…. yoOh guys are soooo kuuuuuute~~~~~
Dating friend’s a no-no for me.
Congrats! <3
you guys are soo cute
) makes me tear!!!
Wow, that’s a great story to tell your grandchildren one day. Lol.
I hope everything stays great for you two lovely kids. (=
<3
I would never have the guts to confront someone I like, I guess for me I would wait until I know positively that they feel the same way about me…or else I’ll wait until my feelings dies >__<;;
Kim really reminds me of a male version of you =) and you guys look cute together, madpimp and pimp hahahah =)
i would say, just go w/ the flow.
KIM AND LAN SITTING IN A TREE
It’s weird when you like anyone because you don’t if you should be theire friend first or just start ‘dating’. Relationships are difficult..
cool pics
yay ur back!
*sigh*…u dont update me on “girls” anymore…wat happened to our long late night talks huh? i hung out with mikie & ry last week with liss..wish u coulda been there *sigh*
ryc: Hehe, I don’t want to tell you. You’d laugh at me.
thats such a sweet post. ^_^ u guys have so much fun together, so im sure u guys will last. not to jinx anything. =D wellz just propping.
take care. x0x0
awwww… :laugh:
:throb: I am a believer that there is TRUE LOVE on XANGA.
good stuff…. I think it’s great you two are dating…
dating your friends, is dating your best friend….
you become one anothers comfort and shoulder…
So when’s the official Xanga Wedding???
erwin and I are sooo there. :w00t: :thumbsup: :wub:
That is so cute! you guys look great together! Good luck with your future together.
Hey visit my xanga, im tryin to get on featured!!! *JEN*
It’s great to see happy people together
I’d love to meet you too some day.
I was beginning to think you forgot about us. :cry:
::sings:: “Love is in the air.. Everywhere I look around..” :whistling: :biggrin:
haha missed you lan
and you know i suspecccted something….;D
that’s wonderful. if only every friendship turned relationship worked out like that. mine is a little more complicated..
Wow.. what a pretty pair. Yeah, I agree with your answer. Dating your friend makes everything more easier. At the same time, you still get to discover new things and learn more from each other.
yes..
too cute! just tooooooooooooooo damn cute! this is you two…. :wub:
Very cute!!! :throb:
aww you two are really similar, i say u did the right thing :w00t:
The pictures made me smile… You two are sooo sweet! It’s so nice to see people in love and happy. I know you and Kim are… awws
nice pixs. ahahahah. random props. get back at me.
laters. xoxo. dr3amer.
wonderful….ya the stuff that u said
perfect beginning…..can’t wait for the rest of the story to unfold….
best of wishes….and yes….you two DO have a weird sense of humor…but that’s what makes her even more perfect right?
It is so great to hear about people’s life being good (really, not being sarcastic or anything). Makes me envious
. Congrats, and wish for tha best.
awww too cute!!! ^.^ i believe that usually the best relationships start off of from friendships.
wow two of the best bloggers come together. if you made a joint blog, it might be too interesting to even fathom :blink:
go for it
you guys are power blog couple. and this entry’s mighty touching
Dating your friend is hard, you have to be able to risk ruining a great friendship
the old adage is true: great marriages come from great friendships. kudos to you for knowing a good thing when you see it
i thought ur xanga and ur gf are interesting.. so im subsribe
i think the best relationships start with friendship. i’m happy for you guys and i’m glad you both had the balls to go for it. =D
sniff =*)
how cute i guess things can happen unexpectedly huh? taking a big risk aint that bad either =]
aww… hoe cute is that!
it seems as though you guys are really close and have known each other a really long time. If you are both into the idea, I think you should go for it! :smile: I have 2 friends who have know each other since kindergarden and at first, they found it to be very awkward to date, but have since been together for the past 3 years and are totally in love. :wub: It just depends on the couple, but seeing how cute you guys are together, I would go for it! :throb:
i dunno im scared about the after break up part which is bad to look at it but i dont want to lose a friendship
~*Sazzy*~
awww thats really cute i love the pic. well i really think you should go for it don’t worry about the single life it’s not all that great newayz , and just go for it man , if ya don’t you’ll never know what could have come out between the two of you , and if ya do and it doesn’t work out just remember her as a great person with a great personality and don’t be sad because it would be over , be happy because it happened well take care and good luck xoxoxo muah buh-bye oh and happy easter
it’s always scarey to take that chance with a friend, but how about a best friend?!?! My best friend since Jr. High (we’re 7 years outta high school now), one drunken night over a year ago, we took the plunge & I can’t believe we waited so long! Who better to spend your life with than your best friend!
very sweet. very well put.
so cute, you two look great together
if one day u feel like crying…. call me. I dont promise that i will make u laugh, but i can cry with u. If one day u want to run away– dont be afraid to call me. I dont promise to ask u to stop……but i can run with u. If one day u dont want to listen to anyone…..call me. I promise to be there for u but also promise to remain quiet. But one day if u call……and there is no anwser…..come fast to see me. Perhaps i need you.
Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you. Let old friends know you haven’t forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend, some dont ever leave the one u love for the one u like, because the one u like will leave u for the one they love. tonite ur true love will relize how much they love u between 1 and 4 in the morning. tomorrow the shock of your life will occur if u break the chain. you will have bad luck for 10 years, if you don’t pass this on to 15 people. i f u get this it means the person who sent it truly cares about u, whether theyre a friend,
yeah…. i always wonder the same about dating a friend. Seems like it worked for you. I don’t kno about me though. But yall look wonderful together
I hope it last for as long as you want it to. And she’s very pretty. Lucky Kid. But I’m a girl so…. hehehe, anyways. Good Luck to yall! :throb:
~Lucky Charms
The best of luck to the both of you… you both are so so kyoot! I enjoy reading both of your xanga’s… they always make me think and smile…
i knew it! gosh i’m a genius!!!!!!!! ahahahha :w00t:
a relationship works out better when two ppl were friends first. [like me n aaron] [hehhehehe]
i couldnt have said it better myself.
thats sweet of u =) tehee
i have the same problem. -_-; In the end, we never talked again, we were such good friends to.
How about: Can exes still be friends?…When do you draw the line?
This is my dilemma.
wow over 80 comments!!!! Well here is my 2 cents worth……GO FOR IT!! You two look like you belong together….She is foxy and lucky to have your interest in her….Good Luck and if she reads this your already steadies he he
see i knew it…i knew u guys had something going on. hahaha u can’t fool me!!
i could write a long ass comment in response to this entry… possibly because I can relate to so much of it… and seeing that I too wrote an entry similar to this at roughly the same time.
But I’ll just simply say that you two look cute together.